Did you promise to work on your dream but found many ways to let the day slip away
Did you schedule a meeting and turn up fifteen minutes late
Did you run two miles and gorge your face with cake
Did you look in the mirror Peer at imperfections and make a silly face
Did you let your so called friends Make you feel insignificant
Did you give your heart away without first speaking to your head
Did you bite your tongue so hard Swallowing the words that had to be said
Did you let every other Become priority number one
Did you say nothing as your boss Took credit for your work today
Did you want to say no But predictably said yes instead
And when you lie in bed tonight Will you tell yourself it was alright Will you procrastinate, putting it off for tomorrow Will you promise to compromise Will you continue to expect less Will you keep working on your so called halo
You may think you are a martyr Complain that everything under the bridge is just water You may think how does it matter
Oh dear friend You are nothing but your own saboteur
I have been pondering over this month’s theme. Just to set the record straight, I don’t have themes but lightbulbs that typically pop when I am busy cooking, working, dreaming. Lightbulbs don’t ask for permission. They barge right in and if you are not home, they fuse ever so gently.
So I digress as the theme is not lightbulbs, it is all about HEART. You might argue that heart should not be a theme for one month, it is forever. And you would be absolutely right. Let’s just say, I am making a concentrated effort to truly gather some incredible sayings about the path with heart.
Why now, why this month. Apart from the obvious that Cupid has a dedicated day which retail stores are exploiting, it was prompted by some incredible musings by some gifted writers.
I believe that each one of us knows about this path with heart. Some of us have followed it and some of us have stood on the sidelines wringing our hands choosing the dictates of the head instead. There are no right or wrong answers as to each a journey as unique as a fingerprint.
But and this is a big BUT…
When you look in the mirror with eyes listless, unwilling, dragging your feet.
When you are tired by the thought of Monday.
When you can’t remember as you seem to forget too often.
When you feel anxiety creeping, clutching at you with clammy fingers reminding you of possible failure.
When you look back to find a whole bunch of coulda, shoulda, woulda and only ifs
When every conversation you have starts with a sigh and not a high
When you can’t wait to sleep because your dreams are possibilities that the day seems to drain.
All these whens and there are more warning whens.
Then if you don’t stop to have that talk about the path with heart with the man in the mirror. Then you have betrayed yourself.
Now the path with heart is not about chucking your paycheck, getting on that bike and riding the wind. It could be that for some. It could also be about finding that nugget in our treasure chest that brightens those eyes, that lifts the chin, that squares the shoulder. Once you find it, once you have the courage to pursue it, once you understand that no outside voice can quell it, you are set free.
“Remember that wherever your heart is, there you will find your treasure. You’ve got to find the treasure, so that everything you have learned along the way can make sense.” The Alchemist
I had recently put up a status update on my FB wall that went something like this ” What did you want to be when you were 7? Pray tell…”. I got comments from friends and family ranging from gatekeeper at a movie hall, to firefighter, to railway guard, to steam engine driver, singer and a couple of my girlfriends surprised me by saying a cop, a race car driver. My lovely friend Mary, had obviously given this more thought. She said and I quote “Princess of the Entire World! then architect, then movie star. Now, world renown, but reclusive, mystery novelist.”
My point being, that when we were younger before those dastardly hormones hit…you know pre puberty, we saw the world differently. When girls and boys played in the sandbox without worrying about pink and blue. Dreams were dreams. They were straight from the heart. Not grey, pragmatic, confined. They were bold and they were always recited with great intensity. My youngest daughter wants to be an ahhdventurer or when I don’t buy her the latest Lego set, she wants to be an “ahntrapranoor”. She says it like this…AHHnthrapranoor. She knows there is a big Ahhha in that word.
But somewhere along the way, many of us fell asleep and locked the inner child out. Sometimes you really need to take that trip to meet your “7 year old” and have that conversation. And your art will spring directly from your heart when you take the filters of your mind off.
In the land of make believe There is no hurt, there is no one to deceive Air brushed kisses, static smiles Hits and misses, paid by plastic
Echo has no voice, A reflection for Narcissus Entwined in a dance Undone by Nemesis
Would that the heart so deeply Buried under layers of dirt Like Beauty asleep in soul less slumber Refusing to weep, unable to remember Slowly the child After years of knocking Stays silent Never to speak